| Forum -> -> Seminary Info Help! Bnos Avigail seminary 1234Next
| amother OP
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 3:44 am | My OOT daughter had decided to attend BA. Today she spoke to a respected mechanech in monsey that’s been advising girls for over 20 years who advised her not to attend (her sem advisor agreed with her). This was not done outright rather hinted at. She had nothing negative to say about the seminary itself, only that it wasn’t for DD.
While she emphasized that the BA girls are good, solid, smart girls - most are coming from backgrounds not typical (Russian families, BT, divorced families etc..). Not to say anything is wrong with these. The words odd, out of the box, possibly even weird were also used to describe the girls.
To add further salt to wound, it was mentioned how many girls only attend BA as their backup (always the bridesmaid never the bride) when their preferred places don’t work out. Needless to say my DD freaked out, and is now thinking about her backup option of Machon Raaya. She does not want to be labeled a weirdo/“nebbe” nor have ..... We proceeded to call 2 women from NY/NJ that deal with girls post seminary and none of them even heard of BA. This part got me worried, as we’re from a small Midwest town that’s reliant on word of mouth that comes from being in a certain seminary. I know that a number of Imas have posted nice things to say about BA, but since everyone is anonymous, for all I know it could be the same person that is a marketer for the seminary. What should we do? | |
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Hashem_Yaazor
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 3:46 am ???
I know so many nice, normal girls from completely "in the box" families who attended. None from broken homes or weak backgrounds. | |
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| amother White
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 3:52 am | Hashem_Yaazor wrote: | ???
I know so many nice, normal girls from completely "in the box" families who attended. None from broken homes or weak backgrounds. | Yep. Though they would not reject a girl from a divorced home just because of that, which I think is a good thing. It's also important to remember that Bnos Avigayil is fairly new- about five years old. So less people will know about it. It's also less "in town". Which isn't to say they don't take NY and NJ girls, because all the girls I know who went there are from NY and NJ. But there is a bit more of an OOT feel. And that may be where the idea of everyone being strange or problematic or out of the box is from. But that's not how it is. | |
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| amother Bronze
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 4:08 am | DD got accepted to both machon raaya and bnos avigail and chose to go to Bnos Avigail and never regretted it. Ftr, she is from a family of ffb parents and grandparents, no divorces, is from the tristate area... her roommates were all from the tristate area as well although she did say it has an OOT “flavor”. She also heard before she went that the girls at BA were less “jappy” and into gashmius than the girls in Machon Raaya were. These were all positives for DD (OOT flavor, less jappy) but perhaps aren’t for yours. I’m honestly horrified that someone would say that-even if it were true, to insinuate that bright, nice, emotionally healthy girls who come from atypical backgrounds are somehow “less than” is just so disturbing. Hatzlacha making your decision. | |
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| amother Beige
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 4:27 am While I don’t know Bnos Avigail I do know both Rebbitzen Heller and Rabbi Kass. They are fabulous mechanchim, who are super real and down to earth. It makes complete sense to me that they’d take girls from a variety of backgrounds, as externals would be somewhat peripheral to them. From what I know of them they’d be looking at the girls themselves- frumkeit, sincerity, intellectualism...
As an aside I know some really great girls from typical family and community backgrounds who are strongly considering going next year.
I’d be thrilled to have a daughter going as I think Sp highly of Rebbitzen Heller and Rabbi Kass. | |
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| amother Purple
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 4:39 am | I'm from Passaic and lots of girls go to BA. It has a perfectly nice solid reputation. Not tops per se like BJJ but nice middle solid reputation. Yes it is considered more out of town, but in a good way. Honestly bnos rayaa has a very good reputation as well, but it is also currently known as being very cool and in towny. coming from out of town she may feel less popular there and may not like it. BA is known as very nice girls and not at all know as an issue school. Really not at all! I know tons of girls that went there. It probably does have more out of town girls than BR, but lots of people like that! It prides itself on that I think. It is not know as problem people- just out of town in a positive way. Reality check is that lots of guys for dating also like out of town- it is a positive for many people even while it is a negative for some - not all people want very cool to the hilt, in town girls. Also lots of out of town girls like being with other less in town girls bc it is hard to break in to in town circles or get all the specific nuances if u aren't from the Lakewood and Ny area. Everyone I know in Passaic know about BA and it has a solid reputation. As an aside girls can be wonderful from divorced homes and Russian backgrounds and far away out of town backgrounds. I am in town enough to know what u mean when u use those as examples that could be problems and about not wanting to go to an issue school. But I am so sad about where our society has come. I am appalled. HaShem doesn't care about coolness factors. I am so over that.... it is just so unimportant and below us as a people . Bring on a nice, solid genuine friend, teacher, daughter in law, son in law, any day...and who cares if they are cool and in town or not. It's like we are still in high school our whole lives when we focus on this. It isn't real frumkite. In any case- BA is truly a normal solid school. She should go and enjoy! | |
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4pom
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 4:42 am | So sad!! Do people who work with placing our daughters in seminaries not know the halochos of motzi shem ra and lashan hara ? It’s sad ! | |
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| amother Cerulean
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 5:04 am | That’s so strange. Everyone I know that went there is better than normal- mostly very typical backgrounds but especially smart, down to earth, and warm. | |
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TravelHearter
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 5:10 am I went to Bnos Avigail feel free to pm me
Not weird whatsoever. They want out of town type girls so you always get so more interesting types but majority of girls are regular frum girls from Baltimore, bklyn, chicago etc | |
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| amother Navy
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 5:28 am | My niece is going next year. She is a very bright girl from a solid family. BY of Baltimore. At least in Baltimore, it seems to have become a very popular option, full of lovely, solid girls. (She also applied to Machon Raaya and Michlalah for comparison sake. BA was her 1st choice). | |
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| amother Crimson
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 5:44 am | My DD is at a different seminary this year but some of her closest friends are at Bnos avigayil - sweet, smart, normal and really nice girls. We are strongly considering it for our next dd. | |
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| amother Chocolate
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 5:50 am | Yes and no. For "notable mechanchim" I can see why they might not recommend it for a particular girl. If you are comfortable with those mechanchim and they would be guiding your dd in shidduchim, you should listen to them. It's definitely not an in town school like MR and there is pride in the things your OP mentioned as problematic. My dd went and has lovely things to say about the school, teachers and experience. She is more typical BY than lots of the girls there and made good friends, 2 very close friends. It attracts out of the box girls. She uses that phrase to describe the experience. If that phrase is not for you, BA my not be for you. | |
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| amother Periwinkle
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 5:53 am I think ba is perfect for a nice oot girl. It’s really odd and in my opinion not ok that seminary advisors are so not with the program that they never even heard of BA.
They’re really not doing their homework. It should be an option for their students as well.
Whoever this rabbi is in monsey, really disturbing how he supposedly “advises” parents and this is the advice he gives.
And no, my daughters don’t go to BA, but I know some very nice girls who do. | |
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notshanarishona
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 7:43 am | It’s a new seminary with a more out of town flavor. For most out of towners thats a benefit but if you want a seminary that’s more like every where else with 50% from Brooklyn then it might not be the place for you. It has a good name. | |
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| amother White
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 12:45 pm | OP, can you tell us what the reasons were that your dd initially decided to to to Bnos Avigayil? | |
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| amother Gray
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 1:48 pm | I’m saying this as a fellow oot-er and someone who has no connections in the tri state area: why are you trusting some random “advisor” in Monsey that you have no shaychus to?? Reality is that your daughter would probably be considered “nerdy” and “not with-it” by the people you’re taking advice from. Why do I think this? Because I may be wrong but I think you’ve started threads on ima several times seeking help with your seminary decision, first about where to apply to and now about where to go. That means you probably don’t have people you completely trust irl to turn to with this, meaning you aren’t connected to in-town extended family, and thus the odds are good that a less in towny school like BA is a GREAT match culturally for your dd! Don’t overthink this op! Wishing you bracha and hatzlocha! Maybe our dds will end up friends! 😀 | |
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PinkFridge
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 3:06 pm A few random thoughts:
Actually, 5 years isn't so long in seminary years.
Did she speak to someone before applying? There must have been a reason she applied.
Seminaries have such different reputations depending on cities. I don't know why the difference in perceptions but if it's the right place, one shouldn't be swayed.
Hatzlacha! | |
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| amother Jade
| Mon, Mar 08 2021, 3:43 pm | We sent to Bnos Avigail and were extremely happy. I know a few of the teachers personally. We are a chinuch family and my DD was a super tzniyus bright BY girl. She made great friends, learned a ton, and married a wonderful ben torah who is sitting and learning. What this woman from Monsey told you says more about her than about BA. | |
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